Saturday I was hangin’ ten on my Dell when I ran across a Christian Forum. Not just any Christian forum, THE Christian Forum. How did I know? It said so: ChristianForum.com.
I looked at a couple of the posts and thought it might be cool to sing a few lines of “Pass It On” while holding cyber-hands with my bros around the warm glow of a CRT. Just like camp.
Kinda made me misty…
So I checked out the registration and applied. Being the self-promoter I am, I chose “WhoreChurchcom” as my user name. Couple of extra visitors can’t hurt, huh?
So I hit submit expecting to be ushered into the stained glass chat rooms of cyberdom.
Drats! they have to approve me first. Just when I was ready to test my speedy typing skills.
My hunger for fellowship still burning in my gut, I fire up Google and search for “Christian Forums”. Sure ‘nuff, there’s quite a few out there. I settled on one and clicked.
With blazing T1 speed, I was propelled to the hallowed halls of CrossWalk.com.
I quickly located the registration form and entered my information. With no little amount of anxiety I hit “submit”, hoping against all hope that no moderator had to approve my admission, denying me precious moments of blessed fellowship.
Hallelujah! All I had to do was confirm my email address and I was in! A few moments and I was there: In The Cyber Cathedral with Hundreds, nay Millions of my Fellows.
A topic caught my eye: “Walking in Truth.” I read with great anticipation my Brother’s thoughtful post. Did I have a word of encouragement? Correction? Addition? My fingers, Matrix-like, became a blur over the keyboard. First one post, then two.
I was in the Holy-Spirit-Helpin’-Zone.
Within a few moments I had helped five of my fellow pilgrims. Spent, I collapsed in my chair. Emotionally drained yet strangely fulfilled. I was a part of The Body.
Needing sustenance, I used the last of my strength to stumble to the refrigerator where I passed out. I heard an angel saying, “Get up, the journey is too much for you,” placing a Diet Coke in my weakened hand and one of my wife’s oatmeal cookies in my mouth.
Strengthened by the Angel Food, I returned to my chair. Had another caring soul responded to my posts? Is there a word of encouragement for me? A “Thank You” from someone whom I just saved from a life of error?
What? Certainly this is a glitch. I tried logging in again…Access Denied. Possibly this must be a Demonic Attack spawned of the Evil One. Access Denied. Fowl Spawn from Earth’s Bowels, I will not be defeated! You will not deny me access!
I logged in again. Again the screen taunted me: Access Denied. Demon of Anti-Access I rebuke you in the Name of Jesus!
Still the 17” Diagonal Imp taunted me: Access Denied!
Wait! How silly of me. Certainly in my euphoric fatigue I had forgotten the password. This was no demon, it was simply my humanity.
I clicked over to email—and that’s when it happened. No, it cannot be. But yes, it had.
Ben, Moderator of the Cross-Walk, notified me. I had violated rule 20 and been banned from the forum.
Rule 20? Had I in my human weakness progressed far beyond the 10 Commandments and transgressed not rule 11 or even rule 18, but the hallowed “Rule 20”.
Crushed I wandered into bed. “Been having fun on the computer, honey?” my wife inquired. Without reply I rolled over and sobbed myself to sleep.