Since its release, Jessica Simpson’s new “These Boots Were Made for Walkin’” video has been criticized by Christians as being “too sexy.”
Thankfully, that is not the case.
How do I know? Because Jessica’s manager wouldn’t let her do something obscene, exploiting her body for financial gain. He wouldn’t do that because not only is he her manager, he’s her father, ordained Baptist minister Joe Simpson.
To prove his oversight is keeping her from sexual exploitation, the Simpson camp released the unedited tape of the video shoot. You can clearly see the Most Reverend Joseph Simpson is directing his daughter to make sure her performance was consistent with his deeply held Baptist refined values:
Rev. Joe: Jesse, now what I want you to do at this point is turn your back toward Willie.
Jesse: You mean like this? [Jessica turns away from Willie Nelson]
Rev. Joe: Yeah, honey, only move closer…
Jesse: But, dad, I’m like right up against him.
Rev. Joe: I know honey, it’s OK. Now bend over…
Jesse: But I will have my butt right up against his, um, you know…
Rev. Joe: I know, now rub your generous Christian booty up and down against Willie. There you go. Yeah. That’s it. You know how Daddy likes it…
Willie: [Removing his hat and wiping sweat from his forehead] Thanks honey, here’s a $50.
Obviously Pastor Simpson is watching out for his daughter’s spiritual health as well as her career.
Or did he sell his soul for 15% of her Double-D income?
“You must not associate with anyone who calls himself a brother but is sexually immoral....What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside?” – I Corinthians 5:11-12
Jessica Simpson takes off her clothes and dances suggestively for men’s sexual arousal. No Jessica, you’re not a Christian.
I’m not convinced your father is either.
Can I get a hand clap?